Dear Sires,
first of all let me thank you for your kind attention to our little country, well known as a province of Spain. Also accept my apologies for the poor English, just like Americans should apologize to British for the bad use of their language, but I have an excuse, I live in a country that is, as you say, garbage and here we never heard sentences like "proper grammar will get you far in life", well we never hoped to get far in life, that's why we invented Fado, to cry about our life but then, suddenly and out of nowhere, it became a worldwide known and appreciated kid of music, more than that thing that you ear, believe it is called country music, and that's why we discovered the world, to look for further possibilities.
You also should know that we have wines older than your country, well even my family house is older than USA, we invented the prepaid cards for mobile phones, we invented the green lane toll payment system for motorways and we are one of the countries with the fewest patents in the world!! When Napoleon tried to conquer Portugal 3 times … he failed, and we also had a female baker that kicked Spanish away. Colombus told the king of Portugal that he had discovered America first and only then told the king of Spain, many believe that he was working for Portugal … Oh wait! We discover your country! And took civilization for America, if it wasn’t for the Europeans you would still be playing with arrows and hunting in tiny clothes.
We divided the world in two with Spain just because, like Tolan said, they we’re crying like little babies, and we still got the better part. 60% of Americans think that Portugal is a province of Spain but we still know more about American history than most of Americans. The colonies of Portuguese fishermen in Canada are older than Canada itself. We invented rosé. We sell rosé. But do not drink rosé, we leave it for tourists. James Bond was invented in Portugal, and the real Royal Casino is in a Portuguese city called Cascais. We also thought English to drink tea, and the first English queen to drink it at 5p.m. was Portuguese. The Portuguese empire lasted six centuries, being the longest global empire in history. The oldest bookshop in the world is in Portugal, and it is 44 years older than USA itself, so as the 3rd most beautiful one. We also have the most advanced science research centre in the field of health. We have the world’s oldest alliance in force, and we still take it seriously. We may be small but our spirit is huge and as in other occasions we’ll get up in our feet. After all we are Portuguese; we see difficulties and face it with a smile on the face, just like when we discovered the seas and the way around the world.